On Fyvush Finkel...

Oh, Fyvush!

First off, let me say that I am so glad you are still alive.
When I went to Imdb you, I braced myself;
thinking i would see in your bio that you had just recently passed.
But not you, Fyvush! You're still alive and kicking!!!
Oh, and Fyvush, no one looks better in a bow tie than you, seriously.

Also, can i just say that Fyvush has to be the best name ever.
According to wikipedia Fyvush is yiddish for Philip. Way to upgrade!
I almost want to get a pet just so I can name him Fyvush.

You're like the crazy Brooklyn-born Jewish great uncle i never had
(I've only had crazy Brooklyn-born Jewish great aunts.)
Would you like to be my adopted crazy great uncle?
You could come over for Passover and rant the whole time.
For starters, you could bring up how you still can't believe my cousin married a shiksa,
then complain how my mother's matzoh ball soup isn't from scratch,
and what awful Jews we are for never finishing the Seder simply because we get bored.
It would be awesome!
Whatdya say, Fyvush?